Not That Girl Anymore
by AveryBookNerd
Summary: What if Terra did remember Beast Boy and the Teen Titans but didnt want to go back to them? Why didn't she want to go back? Short one-shot, takes place sometime during Things Change. Hints of BBTerra.


Not That Girl Anymore

**Avery: This came into my head after watching the episode **_**Things Change**_** and I was wondering if Terra actually did remember but didn't want to be a Teen Titan anymore, enjoy!**

He knew it was me the moment he laid those big green eyes on me, I knew that he would follow me. He wanted me back, he and I together, titans to the end. I wasn't a titan, not anymore. I loved the titans, I loved Beast Boy, but it wasn't strong enough. It felt good to see him again, to hang out with him at the pizza place and listen to his jokes. But as much as I wanted to tell him everything, how I remembered him and the Teen Titans and Slade, I couldn't.

There used to be a girl named Terra and she had an amazing power, she could move earth, but this power turned out to be a curse. Terra could never control her ability and even though she never wanted to, she caused great pain to many people. She didn't want to be Slade's apprentice but she felt that she had no choice, she had no control and needed help. He brainwashed her, manipulated her, she truly believed that she had no one else to turn to. So she betrayed her friends, the only real friends that she has ever had and lived everyday with the guilt.

I'm not Terra, well I'm not Terra anymore. Terra was a bad guy, a backstabbing witch, a scared little girl who turned to the first person who offered her some kind of control, some sense of security, even if it turned out to be false. Terra didn't care if she hurt anyone, and I didn't think anyone would miss Terra, but they did. He did.

I don't know how I became human again, I just remember being stone one second and human the next. Had Raven found an incantation that worked? Or had someone else freed me? I might never know what happened. For the first time in what felt like an eternity I could move, I could speak, I could smell. I took a step forward, I moved my arms up and down, I spun in circles. I could hear laughing, my laughing, I had forgotten what I even sounded like. I tested out my abilities and levitated a rock, this time with control, I smiled. I took in my surroundings and noticed a plaque on the pedestal.

"_A Teen Titan. A True Friend."_ I read the words over and over again. My heart felt heavy in my chest, like someone was pulling on my heartstrings. I felt tears build up in my eyes and fall down my cheeks, I wiped them away with the back of my hand. I had forgotten what it felt like to cry, or to feel any emotions at all. I had a heart of stone, literally, and that stopped me from feeling anything. But even with my literal heart of stone weighing me down I was still sad.

I could have gone to the titans, knocked on their door and have them open it to find me. Beast Boy and Starfire would hug me tightly, they would want me back on their team. They would welcome me back with open arms, well maybe Raven would need time to warm up to me again. We always had a rocky relationship, her and I, but hopefully we could be friends again. Beast Boy and I could try going out again, he was my best friend, and even more than that. We could be that again. But then I stopped, would he want me back? Would any of them want me back? Do I want to go back?

I was a Teen Titan, I was a hero, I was Slade's apprentice, I was a villain. As much as I wanted to go back and rejoin their team it felt wrong, like I didn't belong there anymore. Did I ever belong there with them? Or was that just some little girl desperate for some companionship and security? My heart ached a bit in my chest but I knew that what I chose was the right thing. I had the pieces in the palm of my hand, all I had to do now was reconstruct them, make a new life for myself.

I wasn't Terra Markov anymore, from that day forward my name would be Jenna Norman and Jenna wasn't a crime fighter, or a powerful titan, she was a normal girl. She didn't worry about Dr. Light's next crime or what the H.I.V.E. five was planning next and she certainly didn't worry about Slade. Jenna would worry about normal teenage girl things, like school and finding a nail polish colour to match her favourite pair of jeans. Regular girl, regular girl things. There was no Terra anymore, the girl who Beast Boy knew was nothing more than a fading memory. Sometimes we perceive people a different way then they actually are, then when we lose them we spend our time obsessing over how perfect they were when really it was all an illusion.

Beast Boy wanted me to be Terra, but the girl that he wanted me to be died a long time ago. I would miss him and he might miss me too. But we both need to move on, because I'm not that girl anymore.

**Avery: I don't own Teen Titans, I just love the show. Anyway, I hope that you liked this story and review, criticism is welcome (helps me become a better writer). **

**Keep on keeping on!**


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